And you wonder why “we don’t hang out.” PAH!

Retards. The lot of em.

I’m supposed to make my ex feel better by not dating? And then when I do, he tries to prove something. I am not a tree and you are not a wolf. Put. Down. The leg.

And why can’t I just have a guy friend anymore? They get all sensitive, make things complicated by having feelings. Oh get over it. It’s not mutual. Or my being a female wanting to be your friend makes me have feelings for you? Are you shitting me? I’m not that kind of girl. No and no.

All I want is a guy friend! Someone to vent to, or do my “boy hobbies” with. Someone to help me fix the roof or go for a run. I want to go camping! Or the demolition derbies! Friend. I have way too much going on to even consider a relationship in that arena. Only since men have proven they are in fact more girly than any of the girls I know. No how about we don’t cuddle. No how about you stop texting me every six seconds. I’m two steps into shaving my head and quitting on girl smells. Maybe that’ll repel whatever lusty thing you think is going on. Would you be attracted to a lumpy-headed bald woman? Or have the smallest idea that someone smelling like a boy wants you? Cause hell, I’ll do it!

There’s one dude in particular, and you know who you are! Stop with the threats.

“If you don’t want to be with me, then I don’t know what to do because I wont be able to handle just being friends.”  …. what the hell is that, Princess….?

Oh? Done! I gave you what I have to offer. My friendship. Quit trying to make me feel guilty for not loving you in that regard. Because you’re just hurting my feelings, not winning me over. Swine. I hope you meet a nice girl who does that same thing to you for you to realize best friends of that many years, don’t just up and confess their undying love and get MAD when it’s not mutual.

So to set the fucking record straight.
Dear All Male Friends,
Chill. No I don’t and no I wont, end of story. And for the sake of shutting you up  I’m interested in ONE person, I have been for a very very long time.. gee sorry (and no it’s not any of you). So. Hike up those frilly panties you bunch of nancy-girls have been sporting this year.  A lot of us have been friends for a long time. But you’ve got to stop with this crap or I’m out. Period. Lets get some beer and relax.



About misschrislee

Laughter really is the best medicine.
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